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My Doggy Ate My Homework

My Doggy Ate My Homework
by Dave Crawley

“My doggy ate my homework.
He chewed it up,” I said.
But when I offered my excuse
My teacher shook her head.
I saw this wasn’t going well.
I didn’t want to fail.
Before she had a chance to talk,
I added to the tale:
“Before he ate, he took my work
And tossed it in a pot.
He simmered it with succotash
Till it was piping hot.
“He scrambled up my science notes
With eggs and bacon strips,
Along with saut�ed spelling words
And baked potato chips.
“He then took my arithmetic
And had it gently fried.
He broiled both my book reports
With pickles on the side.
“He wore a doggy apron
As he cooked a notebook stew.
He barked when I objected.
There was nothing I could do.”
“Did he wear a doggy chef hat?”
She asked me with a scowl.
“He did,” I said. “And taking it
Would only make him growl.”
My teacher frowned, but then I said
As quickly as I could,
“He covered it with ketchup,
And he said it tasted good.”
“A talking dog who likes to cook?”
My teacher had a fit.
She sent me to the office,
And that is where I sit.
I guess I made a big mistake
In telling her all that.
’Cause I don’t have a doggy.
It was eaten by my cat.